Still in dependence day

July 4, 2007 at 11:46 am 3 comments

Hi, guys and gals. I’m glad to be back from several weeks of business travel, and I offer my apologies for the dearth of posts while I was away.

First on the list this morning is a linky to Gary North’s wonderful long article, Shorn on the Fourth of July. Incredible. I haven’t ever seen history written like this. Some friends and I were wondering recently what happened to the “original” Declaration of Independence. I mean, if it was sent to King George III, why is it in the National Archives? Wouldn’t old George have tossed it in the fire or something? Besides, the one in the Archives is signed by the 55 “traitors.” But the signers didn’t really sign the engrossed-on-parchment version until August 2, so did the Founders really wait that long to send it across the pond?

Anyway, Dr. North hits one out of the park – even accusing the usual Founders of the old “Those are my people – I must find out where they are going so that I may lead them!” trick. A great read for today…somehow its detailing of the history of taxation on these shores dovetails with my ongoing feeling of unavoidable encroachment. It’s the nature of the beast, especially since that’s how this particular beast was built from the beginning.

And that leads me to the title of this post…I’m still in dependence, and yet it’s still Independence Day. This year I’m feeling differently about it all. I’ve got this sense of “Enough with the self-deprivation and delayed gratification – I want to enjoy what freedom I can scrounge!” Like Debra over at Wolfesblog recently decided, there’s freedom to be enjoyed in various permutations in various situations. For her, a corporate job (one she likes) brings the freedom to earn the bucks faster, to work a reasonable schedule, and to provide the medications needed for her loved ones’ continued well-being.

The decision I’m struggling with is somewhat the opposite: I’m ready to start my own business doing what I’ve recently been trained to do (with solitary time for creative work and space for doing art – neither of which I currently have – on the side). But in order to do it, I need a (home) office in a clean, attractive place, preferably close to or right in town.

(In other words, the RV I’ve been sharing with Thunder for a year, parked in the middle of nowhere, won’t cut it.  😉  No offense to my dear sweetie. It’s just the nature of an RV and of where RVs tend to get parked. Wow, has it really been a year? Well, just about.)

Now, I could take my new skills to someone else’s shop and be paid roughly half the amount I’d make freelance. And I could continue to live in the camper. But I’ve tried, and I just can’t take the idea of myself sucking up to anyone, just to land or to keep a job anymore. I can’t see doing it someone else’s way with a fake smile on my face, when I can see a way that’s better for the client and for me.

Plus, the commute would be up to an hour each way, with a gasoline bill to match, and it would definitely take longer to pay down the debts I have remaining. Having crunched the numbers, I do know that paying more in rent will be worth it in terms of the greater income possibilities – if I can develop the clients. And I think that I can.

Paying off those debts is my main priority now, and when that’s accomplished, then I’ll feel comfortable making the leap to a gulch situation. But can I really trust myself to do that? Honestly, I know that I’m like Debra – I want, at least for a while, to live in an upscale place, to be able to walk to a nice little coffee bar or health food store, to impress my friends and family. I have to admit that I’m weak in these ways, I’m dependent because I want these things I haven’t had before.

And if I get them, will I ever be willing to leave them behind?

Which is the path of freedom for me now – a high-rent place (available only through a background check, of course), that allows me to build my own business and reputation, to pay down my debts faster, and to enjoy a spacious, inviting home and the days I spend in it, alone and with company…or a low-rent, low-profile, low-autonomy lifestyle that puts my eventual gulch farther out in the future?

I feel lately that freedom for me, at this point in time anyway, is about taking calculated risks, too. Especially when they seem calculated to bring more happiness – and real personal growth. So maybe the answer for each person lies in the types of freedom she’s most wanting or needing at any given time.

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Entry filed under: Doing Freedom, Free Your Mind, Living Free, Writer's Life.

The tribe truly is widespread Happy attitude

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. PintofStout  |  July 4, 2007 at 1:10 pm

    It sounds like things are going well for you; it’s always nice to have options. I haven’t been to the Claire Files for a while due to other priorities. Every now and then, I have to quit the lists because they can take lots of time just to read. But I’m glad you’re doing well.

    I don’t think you should feel guilty about wanting stuff. What kind of freedom would be so limiting that you had to be isolated and self-sufficient to the point of discomfort? I think the important thing is to to do stuff on your own terms as much as possible while still making yourself happy. What could be more pleasing than living as free as you can manage and being happy at it?

    Happy 4th!

    Reply
  • 2. morrigan  |  July 6, 2007 at 7:52 am

    I have found that in the practice of every day living that any place can become either a joy or a prison. A person has to be able to roll with the punches or the pats on the back.
    The one thing that I never want to do again is to have to live my life just to please someone else, or to conform to what someone else’s ideas are, what kind of freedom is that?
    In order to really know just what it is that you need for yourself, you have to explore different paths.
    I don’t understand where the idea of the definition of living freedom means the requirement to live an existence of self deprivation and privation.

    Reply
  • 3. m.d. creekmore  |  July 9, 2007 at 6:14 pm

    Just dropping you a note to let you know of a blog that might interest you.

    The Survival Strategies blog
    http://thesurvivalblog.blogspot.com

    thank you M.D. Creekmore

    Reply

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