The vault

Uncomfortable silence lately. The kind of silence that doesn’t know whether to scream truth in the darkest night to the few who might be listening, or clam up and preserve what little I understand within a vault of purposeful quiet. If it weren’t for you few but very loyal and supportive readers, I might even let the blog go into oblivion. And I’ve been considering quitting my stint as Friday guest editor over at Strike the Root.

Why? It’s not despair, not hopelessness – although with the increasingly oppressive news of late, it is partly fear. It is partly writer’s block, since I haven’t had a clear idea of what to write lately. But it’s more that concept of the vault – of sensing the need to take the ideas underground and only reveal them to those who seem to be ready for the knowledge. Mainly so I won’t give away strategy – or energy – to the enemy.

I think it’s come time to back away from public view, to become like witches during the Inquisition – for the sake of the future, those who see and know must hide the extent of their insight and knowledge.

I keep thinking of that quote from The Fountainhead, when Ayn Rand is describing Howard Roark’s taciturnity and the resentment it evoked in others: “Things locked in vaults are valuable…men did not care to feel that.”

Is this really me, talking about having an enemy? This isn’t my way. Yet the enemy exists – and it’s (or they’re) the arch-enemy of free and intelligent human beings. And I don’t know how to prepare for the struggles I see coming closer each day now.

But, as I said, this isn’t a question of despair. In fact, my life at school lately has brought unexpected and very welcome blessings, in the form of people who see and resist the encroachments of the State. And they are working quietly and courageously, as a sort of non-secretive underground network, to open the eyes of others whenever possible. They’re succeeding, too – what a joy to behold when that occurs, one soul at a time, as it must.

Maybe it’s because of life being so good and fulfilling lately, that I want to hold it as sacred and inviolate.